Friday, July 24, 2009

Dimples and Dreams

I'm feeling a little more hopeful today for two reasons.

First is the wonderful support so many people at Wrong Planet have been giving to help me understand my husband. No blame, no condescension, just their experiences and some ideas to try based on them. I am very grateful for that and just keep going back to the posts to read and re-read to let it all sink in. It gives me hope that there can be understanding and with that we can have harmony.

Second is that my husband is in one of his good moods. He goes around smiling. I can see his cute dimples. He's playful and witty. He's present in the moment and interested in what is going on around him. I've never figured out what causes him to be in these moods but I really love when he is. I've asked him and looked for patterns, but it is one of the mysteries of our marriage for now. One of the kidlets commented that we're having tickle fight kind of days. Silly, fun, hopeful days. I like these days.


  1. I wish you more tickle fight days. I'm relieved to read this.

  2. Thanks, Esther! Today is day two of the good times. My husband was affectionate, playful, cracking jokes, volunteering his thoughts, and a joy to be around. It is amazing how quickly it changes and how easy it is to rediscover love, and each other, during these times.

    Now I need to figure out how to lengthen them.

  3. Wow. This is actually quite interesting. My wife only recently said to me, "You're in such a good mood lately". I've been thinking on that for a while and wondering what the sub-text is.

    Was she saying that normally I'm not? Apparently not. Instead, she was telling me that I've been "lighter" than usual - and I think she likes that mood better (so do I).

    Living with Aspergers is a strange experience and I've discovered that our emotions tend to be more extreme than our neurotypical partners - even though we often don't show this in our expression.

    My moods range from suicidally depressed to "bubble-floating" happy with not a whole lot in between. Often the mood will change for no particular reason. At least, not to any reason that's obvious to me.

    I'd like more "bubble floating", "tickle-fight" days myself.

  4. If you or your wife ever figure out what triggers the good moods for you, I'd sure like to know! I'm curious if she notices that the AS "symptoms" seem less pronounced during your good times, too. Maybe you could ask her after your next tickle fight. :D